In this country, Whites seem to be the only racial group that spends more time and effort wondering about the implications of race for other groups than it does for itself…they seem to have no models for thinking about Whiteness as a healthy party of themselves rather than as a negative aspect of others. – Dr. Janet Helms |
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THE "BIND" FACING MANY LEADERS As our nation grapples with a long overdue reckoning on race and racism, many leaders and staff of organizations – and in particular white leaders and staff – can feel like they are walking a tightrope and at any moment could plunge into the abyss below. On the one hand, they want to – and know they must – engage in a substantive conversation on race and equity in their organizations. And yet on the other hand, it can feel like there are few ways to “win”, but countless ways to “lose”, in doing so. Without a rootedness in one’s authenticity and internal power, a high level of emotional intelligence, and a deep reservoir of empathy and courage, even the most well-intentioned efforts to engage in conversations on race and racism can trigger past trauma, heighten polarization, and reduce morale. Yet many white leaders and staff in particular find themselves ill equipped, and ill supported, to show up in these ways, and provide this sort of leadership, especially when it comes to race. And it can be challenging to find supportive spaces that help them develop in the ways they specifically need to grow.
The easy answer is to assign some level of malice – conscious or unconscious – to white participants. “Of course white people don’t want the system to change”, the thinking goes, “after all they’re benefitting from it”. While there is no doubt some truth to this perspective, it too easily shifts the blame while overlooking how we are working with white people and whether or not what we are doing is effective.
Most anti-racism training tends to rely on a short-term educational approach rather than an ongoing developmental approach. It assumes that if we teach people what racism is, and help them develop an analysis around it, that people will change. Yet for the vast majority of white people – who have had to do very little to no personal work around race, and who have no understanding how race was constructed in the U.S. – this “education” can instead trigger an interior terrain in their psyche that becomes taboo to talk about, or that they become resistant to talking about. Some may deal with this by focusing on “performing” – being careful to say or do the “right things” and making sure other white people do the same. Others may adopt an “avoiding” strategy – acknowledging the existence of racism but mostly going on as if nothing needs to change. And still others may deal with it by feeling aggrieved at what feels like a turning of the tables and allowing this grievance to further entrench them in their views, privately seething while publicly appearing to go with the flow. All of these are coping strategies, not ways to show up authentically and thrive. These are the traps that white people oftentimes get stuck in. This “stuckness” can then manifest outwardly in ways that are interpreted as “another white person not willing to change.” This increases frustration on all sides, and is unfortunately all too common. |
Read "Supplementing White Fragility" by Amiel Handelsman, a professional coach and trainer, for one of the best appreciative critiques out there of the concept of white fragility. |
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COACHING AS A CRITICAL ELEMENT
The only way out is through. And to move through this common roadblock, we must be able talk about it. Many white leaders and staff need an ongoing relational space where they can be honest about their struggles and be supported and challenged to grow to become the kind of person that they themselves want to be, and ultimately truly are, beyond the narrow confines that whiteness or other identities place on them. This is the essence of what a coaching relationship is all about. Coaching is an ongoing relational process that helps clients undergo the “internal revolutions” they need to live into their full authentic selves, take responsibility for their experiences, and create what they want in their lives. Coaching honors the client as the expert in their life and work, and believes that people are already inherently powerful, creative, resourceful, and whole. Standing on this foundation, my responsibility as a coach is to:
[1] Frank Dobbin and Alexandra Kalev discuss this in their 2018 essay “Why Doesn’t Diversity Training Work?” at https://scholar.harvard.edu/files/dobbin/files/an2018.pdf |
Additional Reading: |
